- Sun May 07, 2006 11:04 pm
Thank you so much, B-Bill.
Here is my 11,000th post, and I'll dedicate it to Al Crise, aka Barry's Dad on TKF. Here's his post from way back, and it's one of the funniest posts I've ever read:
Some of you newer folks may not know "Barry's Dad." (BTW, he really isn't Barry's dad.) He lives in Glen Rose, Texas. Anyway, here's the story he posted here 2 years ago, and it's a classic!
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:25 pm Post subject: Dumb things to do.
Some times we hear of something that works well for someone. Other times we only get the idea that thing done were some what DUMB.
So Here are a few of the Dumb things that I know of.
My Son Barry will tell you about a Lighthouse Lakes Crab that took off the end of his fly rod. It happened so fast that Barry just looked at the place where there was a guide left, dumbfounded. It had been there just a second before. All he did was try to change the Crabs route a little.
Me I do things in a bigger way.
I was fishing on Florida's west coast for reds with a guide. The guide kept chuming an area to see if he could get a red fish within range. Now this worked fairly well.
So the next time I got to AP I was ready. I had bought a couple of cans of cheap Cat Food. You know that kind that leaves the smell of low tide's dead fish in the house for days. Yea that kind. Pink label with a little kitty licking his lips.
I paddled out of the Brown and Root side of the Causway. Out on the flat west of the bridge. maybe 200 yards. Staked out my kayak and waded a little more to get away from the noise the waves were making on the hull.
I opened the can by punching some holes in it. Tied a rope to it. and let it swing in the water from my wader belt. Now I was ready to make that one cast to the fish that would be coming up the chum slick that was drifting off to the west. Watching for the shadows that I was sure would come to me. All I had to do was just wait.
The wait was not long when the first of the Blue CRABS showed up. Yep that was what I saw First. Second. Third, Fourth, Where did they all come from. Dozen of them were all coming my way. Some were over 15 inches from claw to claw. Now I did not see any reds or any other fish. All I saw was CRABS. Boy can they move side ways fast. So I started backing up then Faster. Dummy me I still had the cat food hanging from my waist. Trying to untie it was a joke in it's self the can kept swing around and I kept turning to keep my eye on the hoards of CRABS. Not letting my rod touch the water. Remember the Barry Story?
I did not want to just toss the can out on the flat. My 'clean water conservation' side kicked in. So I held it above the water. RIGHT letting it drain.
Now there were CRABS that would stall an outboard by just grabbing the prop. I was making a hasty retreat to the kayak. I boarded in one fast leap. Still holding the cat food can above the water.
Ok now I can set the can down in the bottom of the kayak. with the holes up. Now I will tell you that every CRAB on B&R flat was looking at my little kayak. I pulled up the stake I had stuck in the scupper hole through the bottom and made ready to leave. OOPs Forgot I had the anchor out just in case. So I pulled up the anchor. Now the rocking had up-set the cat food can. It was spilling it's stinky contents on the bottom of the SOT kayak. Not to worry it will drain.
Right now I had more CRABS than I knew were in all the Gulf of Mexico right under my kayak. There were smaller crabs coming up through the scupper holes. RIGHT BETWEEN MY LEGS.... Was it better in the water or in the boat???? How high can you sit in a kayak? What did I have to defend myself. Anchor. fishing rod, rope, paddle, stake, barehands..
Well the paddle was the best choice I could scoop them out. Put my plug in and be safe. Where was that plug? Well if you think that swinging a kayak paddle as a shovel is easy while sitting in a boat full of CRABS it is not.
I ran out of words before the last of the 'pincher of death' were sent over the side. Stroke stroke stroke I was fast leaving the area. The can was rolling around in the bottom most of its contents were just slopping around making the smell something close to the back door of the fishhouse. Stoke Stroke Stroke. Still the smell was almost over powering.
Now with the Texas summer sun shining into the yak my head was swumming. I was getting the feeling that there was something following me. Looking over my shoulder I did not see a thing but the slick I was leaving. Above my head were screams of the Gulls lots of sea gulls. As they fed on the bits and pieces that were washing off the kayak where I had dripped the cat food. Remeber the Hickcock Film the BIRDS????
Now that I was near the launch area I was feeling some what better. I stopped got out and washed off the boat, me and the can. Cleaned as best I could every last drop off. Then before the scent could spread I paddled in. leaving the CRABS and Birds to fight for the morsels I had left for them.
Yep another good Idea gone BAD.